these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
