you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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