imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
