He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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