It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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