can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize