I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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