Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
