..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
