I'm passing your future prison.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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