Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
