Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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