Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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