if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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