Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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