doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
