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• (914): View more from New York

  This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  maybe it's her son

  (914): View more from New York

  thats not any better.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing it right

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"

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• (631): View more from New York

  it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type

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