He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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