so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
