I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
