I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
