hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize