Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
