I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
