we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
