id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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