I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
