Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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