why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
