I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
