the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize