Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Drake has all the answers
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
