let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
