Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
