We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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