Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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