Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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