wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
