Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think I won the penis lottery.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
