Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
