Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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