i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
