Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize