We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
