also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
