Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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