Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
