Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
