Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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