Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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