Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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