I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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