But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
