i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
