It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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