take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found puke in my bra..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
