North Korea, Best Korea!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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