They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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