I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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