Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
