did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
