there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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