is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
