i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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