Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
