I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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