I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
