You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
