God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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