Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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