He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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