She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
