No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
