you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize