have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
